Honourable Mentions

Gamaliel Ratsey: The Theefe of England

• Steve and Neil Webb • Season 1 • Episode 1

Share episode

Send us a text

A young soldier returns to the fens having fought in the Nine Years' War in Ireland, only to become embroiled in a life of crime and adventure as a notorious highwayman in Tudor England, eventually leading to him becoming the first ever subject of the true crime genre.

Join us in a true story of skullduggery, Bee Gees tribute acts, time telling cows, and magical shirts. History will never be the same again.

Email honourablementionspod@gmail.com

Website

honourablementions.buzzsprout.com

Facebook

Honourable Mentions

Instagram

honourablementionspod

TikTok

honourable.mentionspod

SPEAKER_04:

Honourable Mentions. Hello, listener. Yes, you, how are you? Please accept this great big wet kiss of a thank you for tuning in to this, the very first episode of a brand new podcast called Honorable Mentions. Honourable Mentions. In this podcast, myself and my real life brother, we've not made him up for Joby's purposes. He is my real life sibling from the same mother. It's Neil. Hello, Neil.

SPEAKER_03:

Hello, Stephen.

SPEAKER_04:

How are you today, please? Neil M.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, Tickadee Boone Pooker, thank you. You slag.

SPEAKER_04:

Just for the listener, we will describe our intentions behind this podcast. For those of you who didn't pick it up through the interpreter's modern dance that me and Neil performed during our little intro there, which was written and performed by our friends Pepe and the Bandits. Please check them out wherever you stream your music. For those of you who didn't pick up the Interpretive Dance, this podcast, myself and my brother Neil. He's still there, Neil.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm still here, Stefan.

SPEAKER_04:

We will be bringing you real life stories of adventure, innovation, and other stuff in honourable mentions. People from history that you may not have heard of, but you're gonna wish you had by the time we've finished with you, believe me.

SPEAKER_02:

This is Mentions Music.

SPEAKER_04:

That nearly worked. We nearly got that in time. We will train you up over the episodes, dear listener. Do not fret. So let's launch in today's little story. Are you sitting comfortably new?

SPEAKER_03:

Yes. Just like Jack and Ori.

SPEAKER_04:

Just like Jack and Ori for our younger listener. So today's.

SPEAKER_03:

I have an open fire and a very big armchair, and I'm happy to sit here and waiting with a cup of cocoa.

SPEAKER_04:

Have you? Are you wearing a ball neck jumper?

SPEAKER_03:

Yep.

SPEAKER_04:

Have you got a labrador on your lap?

SPEAKER_03:

No.

SPEAKER_04:

Where's your labrador?

SPEAKER_03:

In the fire.

SPEAKER_04:

Neil actually does have a labrador, so please don't bring the RSP chair. She is, she's a very lovely Labrador.

SPEAKER_03:

She's a very lovely Labrador.

SPEAKER_04:

She's a very lovely Labrador. So Neil.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, Stephen.

SPEAKER_04:

For the purposes of this podcast, what it is we're doing, and for the listener, who hopefully by now hasn't already left us.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Would you please be able to describe the Lincolnshire village in which you grew up go?

SPEAKER_03:

Yes. The town was called Market Deeping. Uh it is on the boundary of Cambridgeshire and Lincolnshire. There is a river down there called the Welland. It's full of Georgian style houses. It has a marketplace, and there is several towns. Well, there's a town attached to it called Deeping St. James or Jimmy Deeping. There's a West Deeping, and there's lots of other deepings, I'm sure, that I've never heard of. But it's a very, very nice town. Very nice, friendly people.

SPEAKER_04:

Nick, you've heard of.

SPEAKER_03:

Deep in St. Nicholas, that's it.

SPEAKER_04:

I can't think of any other of the deep ins. But yes, I think that was pretty good. Deep in trouble. Ah There is a company called, I think there's loads of little companies around called Deep in this, and there's one called Deep in Soil I've seen about. Little advert, if you do want to sponsor us, please feel free or to send us some soil samples. Save me producing my own in my underpants. Yes, market deep in the only thing I would pick you up on there, Neil, would be, you say, Georgian style houses. Whereas a lot of them actually are Georgian houses.

unknown:

Oh.

SPEAKER_04:

From the Georgian period. That's what the listener needs to be imagining here.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_04:

Um so yes. So do you know, as soon as you've uh you are deep in born and bred, do you know anyone called Gamile or Ratsey, please?

SPEAKER_03:

Ratzy, wasn't he someone on Blue Peter?

SPEAKER_04:

No. You're thinking of Bernard Kribbins.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, damn. Then um in that case, no.

SPEAKER_04:

Or or Shepp.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

What was the other guy's name?

SPEAKER_04:

He used to do Kickstart, someone Pervert.

SPEAKER_03:

Peter Dunlop or something, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_04:

Peter Purvis. Purvis.

SPEAKER_03:

That's it.

SPEAKER_04:

Yes. Anyway, it's none of those people. Gamile Ratzi was born sometime in the late 1500s. So probably just before four o'clock. Yeah. In the Lincolnshire Fendland Village of Market Deep, which we've already discussed. And you've painted a lovely picture for our listener to be able to close their eyes and imagine just what we're talking about. So old Gamel was one of several children born to Richard Ratzi, who was described as a nobleman and a well-to-do gentleman.

SPEAKER_03:

Was he paparazzi? He'd have been paparazzi, wouldn't he? He would have been the paparazzi. Was he a journalist?

SPEAKER_04:

That's why we keep him around, listener.

SPEAKER_03:

So that's he a journalist?

SPEAKER_04:

Those little quips. Well now I've already said he was a nobleman and well-to-do gentleman.

SPEAKER_03:

Well he wouldn't be a journalist, then would he?

SPEAKER_04:

He wouldn't be a journalist, would he?

SPEAKER_03:

No, he'd be scammed, he'd be slag and have a pencil beyond his ear.

SPEAKER_04:

Unfortunately, we have no record of Gamaleo's mother's name, despite her part in his story, which we are going to now unfurl. Hmm.

SPEAKER_03:

I like that.

SPEAKER_04:

All the young Ratzes received a good education, and Gamileel was recorded as being an excellent scholar. So he's a very good boy.

SPEAKER_03:

He couldn't have gone deep in comprehensive then, could he?

SPEAKER_04:

I don't think he would have gone to deep in com at that time and come out an excellent scholar. He'd have probably come out with a what do they call him these days?

SPEAKER_03:

Prison sentence.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. I think he'd probably come out with a prison sentence.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Anyways, there was Gamanay alright, and he's an excellent scholar, but somewhere during his teenage years he went a bit awry.

SPEAKER_03:

Awry. Awry, that's not a good word, isn't it? That's a good word, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. He became bored. He became bored of academic life and left market deeping far behind to enlist. Well, I'm about to say, if you stop and take it.

SPEAKER_03:

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04:

To enlist in the Earl of Essex's is is his regiment.

SPEAKER_03:

Is that how you say it?

SPEAKER_04:

That's that's it was pronounced. Or the regiment of the Earl of Essex is probably the easier way of saying it.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, it would have been, wouldn't it?

SPEAKER_04:

It would have been. I should have probably gone for that.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Never mind.

SPEAKER_04:

This was most probably We live and learn. We we do live and learn. This is the first episode, listener, so if you're still there, thank you. It was most probably a deliberate choice from Gamelale because the regiment of the Earl of Essex, see what I did there, I turned it, didn't I? So I could pronounce it easy.

SPEAKER_01:

I don't know.

SPEAKER_04:

I'm getting more professional as I talk. It's probably a deliberate choice, so you can see immediate action in Ireland.

SPEAKER_03:

Ooh, that sounds exciting.

SPEAKER_04:

You heard of Ireland?

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, I have, yes. I have, yes. There's loads of them.

SPEAKER_04:

No, that's an island.

SPEAKER_03:

That's Falkland Island.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, that's Ireland I-S-L-A-N-D.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Island in the sun. This is Ireland as in era, as in the country over the way there to our west.

SPEAKER_03:

To the west of the side. Oh, I know what you mean now, yes. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, yeah, I've got it, yeah. I've got confused.

SPEAKER_04:

So that's where he's gone, right? And he's got he's gone there because King Henry VIII. Do you remember Henry VIII?

SPEAKER_03:

I do, yeah, big fat ginger man.

SPEAKER_04:

Big fat ginger man. He established the Kingdom of Ireland in 1542 as an English dependency. So he's gone. Well he's gone over there and said, Well, you can't have that anymore, that's mine now. Put that put that down, please, put it down. That now belongs to me.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

So that's where we are, yeah. Because we are the good boys of history. We've often done that sort of thing. And we go around and we scatter the place with rose petals and pound coins.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, and we didn't steal anything and keep it.

SPEAKER_04:

No, we never do that sort of thing.

SPEAKER_03:

No, we don't have museums for those sort of things, do we?

SPEAKER_04:

In fact, it was so nice and pleasant, various clans accepted English sovereignty.

SPEAKER_02:

Did they?

SPEAKER_04:

Widespread resentment soon developed amongst the Gaelic nobility by the fifteen nineties. This was due to the execution of Gaelic chieftains, pillaging by English sheriffs, and the general persecution of your Catholics.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. Yeah, I've got to understand that.

SPEAKER_04:

If you're going to piss off the Irish, I think we've got the act trick there, haven't we?

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, definitely.

SPEAKER_04:

In fifteen ninety-four, two Irish chieftains, Joe, do you know any Irish chieftains from fifteen ninety-four?

SPEAKER_03:

Not from fifteen ninety-four, no.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, so you wouldn't be familiar with Hugh O'Neill and Hugh Roe O'Donnell?

SPEAKER_03:

Uh no.

SPEAKER_04:

No. Well, this is who we're talking about.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_04:

They they waged a war against the English, supported. Can you get this? Listen to this.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, I'm listening.

SPEAKER_04:

Supported by their Spanish allies.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, filthy peaks. What's it gonna do with them? Well say we're gonna stick in the nose in.

SPEAKER_04:

I know, it might be Catholics and everything, but keep out of it, son.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, filthy peaks, as they say, that's Spanish, by the way.

SPEAKER_04:

Was that Spanish? Yeah, fluent.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, they're fluent in most languages, you'll find out.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, that's very good. At the height of this conflict, there were 18,000 English troops on Irish soil. 18,000.

SPEAKER_03:

That's like Peterborough United ground.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, probably more than you probably have people standing outside.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

That'll be a first, wouldn't it? Unless they're protesting. How many people, right? So there's 18,000 English troops on Irish soil. We've covered this if you were paying attention. How many people do you think the war, this war, which it is we're talking, how many people were left dead? That's dead. That's not breathing. That's shuffled out. Killed in action is probably the word I'm looking for. Or the words. Killed in action. The three words I'm looking for.

SPEAKER_03:

I would have said there would be quite barbaric times because they wouldn't have had like um heat seeker missiles and stuff back then, would they? So I'm gonna go with 30.

SPEAKER_04:

30 people.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

You might want to up that a little bit.

SPEAKER_03:

Alright, 31. Um 25,000.

SPEAKER_04:

Thank you for joining us, listener. This is now going to be the rest of the episode where Neil just shouts out random numbers. Do you want to up that a little bit, Neil?

SPEAKER_03:

No, not really. Carry on.

SPEAKER_04:

The war, even though they didn't have these totally non-barbaric ballistic missiles, according to your little worldview. The war left over 130,000 people dead.

SPEAKER_03:

There's only 18,000 in them.

SPEAKER_04:

There's only 18,000 English troops. But then you you had your Irish on the air.

SPEAKER_03:

I actually didn't say that.

SPEAKER_04:

I said, how many people did the war leave dead?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, but you said there's 18,000 troops. I'll just assume there's 18,000.

SPEAKER_04:

English troops.

SPEAKER_03:

I did say 25,000, didn't I? Um yeah. My next guess was going to be 118,000.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, well, you still wouldn't have got there. But yeah, 130,000. That includes your Spanish, it includes your Irish.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, Spanish, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

But do you want the good news?

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, please.

SPEAKER_04:

Battle hardened, but not dead. Gamaleorazzi returned to England in 1603, so just gone four o'clock.

SPEAKER_03:

On four o'clock, so it's a quick war, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. But without any means of supporting himself.

SPEAKER_03:

So he must have lost his legs then.

SPEAKER_04:

Probably lost his legs. Because he lost his arms. If he lost his legs and his arms, he's still got to get it back to England.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, yeah. So we've got some other way to support himself. So I don't know how he did it. Must have just jumped into the back of a cart.

SPEAKER_04:

Perhaps he was a clever dick. He's on his way home, right? Oh Gamelale. And the journey took him to the Fenland town of Spalding. Slapding? Spaulding. Slapding. Spaulding.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh. Spaulding.

SPEAKER_04:

Spaulding. Slapding, I know where you're coming from. But yes. Right out in the middle of the flattest bit of the flat pats. Where he he stopped there at an inn to quench his thirst.

SPEAKER_03:

And spending if you'd come back from Ireland, you'd be thirsty.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, then he got like seas full of guinness and things. But he yeah, he was thirsty. So he stopped in at this inn in Spaulding to quench his thirst, to slake his thirst. That's a good way of putting it, isn't it? And spend what what little was left of his army pay. And there he began to flirt with a barmaid.

SPEAKER_03:

You filthy pig.

SPEAKER_04:

He didn't hang a pay up, did he?

SPEAKER_03:

He didn't, did he? But then again, if he's been at war for God knows how long, he's it's probably a bit fruity.

SPEAKER_04:

We don't know whether this barmaid was a buxen barmaid. Often they were when we hear of stories of these times.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, you see them, don't you, in them sort of white tops sort of elasticated at the top with the bosoms all pushed up a bit.

SPEAKER_04:

Yes, which of course, as being modern 21st century men, we do not approve of.

SPEAKER_03:

Absolutely not, no.

SPEAKER_04:

No, absolutely not. But she could have been a books and barmaid that he needed his first slate king in more ways than one. After a while, when Gamaleo and this barmaid were talking, whose name we don't have, by the way, I'm not just being dismissive. We do not have the name of this barmaid.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

But after a while. Is that your impression of Gamaleo talking to the bar?

SPEAKER_03:

That's the impression of Gamaleo, yeah. That's what they said back then, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_04:

Well, hella I say ding dong. There's a there's a sight for sore eyes. Now pay attention, because after a while a farmer walked in and told the barmaid that he had forty pounds in a bag.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_04:

So while he was bragging about the thing, check out my souls. Check out my peas, he said. Yeah. A folding. He had£40 in a bag. So how much is£40 in the year£15 or£1603? How much is£40 in 1603 worth in today's money, if we just translated it?

SPEAKER_03:

£40.£4,000.

SPEAKER_04:

£5,500.

SPEAKER_03:

£5,500 bags? Yeah, that's what they had. It's like winning a lottery.

SPEAKER_04:

So this was at a time when a well-paid tradesman like a brewer, who's somewhere who makes beer, do you aware of that?

SPEAKER_03:

I didn't know that, no, thank you.

SPEAKER_04:

They could expect around ten pounds a year.

SPEAKER_03:

A year. A year. And this guy spent£40.

SPEAKER_04:

For the full twelve months. They could expect ten pounds. And that is one of the highest paid trades of the time, you brewers. So this this guy had four years worth of your higher paid tradesman's salary in a bag.

SPEAKER_02:

In a bag.

SPEAKER_04:

Now the the farmer said he was off to market and he needed to pay this money to a noble gentleman later that day when he had returned. So what do you think he did with that forty pounds in a bag?

SPEAKER_03:

I would have thought he would probably take it with him for securitar.

SPEAKER_04:

No, he asked the barmaid to keep it safe. That's what it's give it to the barmaid, didn't he?

SPEAKER_03:

Oh an idiot.

SPEAKER_04:

She probably might have been booksome enough to put it down where no gentleman should deem to follow. You don't know. Do you think it might have been an asda bag or or something a bit more substantial?

SPEAKER_03:

It was a bit of substantial bag, a bag, but surely you wouldn't think to yourself, Do you know what? I'm gonna leave it behind the bar and the pub. It'll be safe there.

SPEAKER_04:

Well, let me continue our little story. Because when the farmer left, Gamaleo and the barmaid got back to their flirting.

SPEAKER_02:

Hello.

SPEAKER_04:

The second her back was turned, what do you think he did?

SPEAKER_03:

Looked her ass.

SPEAKER_04:

No.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, yes, yes. But what do you think he did now? What did he do? Help himself to a drink.

SPEAKER_04:

No, he snatched up the heavy bag of coins and made a hasty exit.

SPEAKER_03:

As you would.

SPEAKER_04:

As you've would, Gamala's out on his timers, mate, who's had that.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. I'm having that sunshine.

SPEAKER_04:

You've seen that bag of sandwiches.

SPEAKER_03:

It wasn't trace, but they didn't have C T V back then either, did they? So they've been in the clear.

SPEAKER_04:

No, all your die packs on your notes. Arriving back home in Market Deep In, which is where we we're from.

SPEAKER_03:

We're originally from, yes.

SPEAKER_04:

Me and my brother Neil, he's still there.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I'm still here, thank you. Bonjour. That's French. Told you.

SPEAKER_04:

You've got all the languages. Hello, Neil.

SPEAKER_03:

Yep, Steve.

SPEAKER_04:

There you go, you know, Yorkshire. The farmer and the barmaid gave Gamaleo's description to a local judge and a warrant was drawn up for his arrest because the farmer's come back and said, Love, can I have my bag now? So I've got to pay that jab in the corner over there. What do you mean it's been half inched? He said. And I should imagine there was quite a bit of sweat going on.

SPEAKER_03:

But anyway, they got the you'd pat her down there, wouldn't you, to make sure she hadn't got it. Be a good excuse.

SPEAKER_04:

That is actually a very good point, because I thought she was playing an elaborate double bluff.

SPEAKER_03:

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04:

But the police well, it wasn't the police then, because the police force wasn't the thing, was it? So it would have the judge and a warrant was drawn up for his arrest. But Gamaleo was apprehended by a constable.

SPEAKER_03:

In a judicial constable. That's a good word for you.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, there's a big big word now. So Gamaleo, what he'd done, he'd taken that bag of money and he'd buried it in the family orchard.

SPEAKER_03:

Nice.

SPEAKER_04:

We've already said that they're a noble family.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, so they have apples. They had an orchard, assuming they're apple trees.

SPEAKER_04:

What do you mean they're assuming apple trees? What else do you have in an orchard?

SPEAKER_03:

Pears.

SPEAKER_04:

I suppose you could have pears. Is that a pear orchard? I suppose it is, yes. Alright. Back down, calm down. So yeah. So he buried the bag, and now he's been apprehended by a constable, and Jamal denied it all, didn't he?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. Yeah, so he would do, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

So what you want about it?

SPEAKER_02:

Well me, Gov.

SPEAKER_04:

What do you want about son? Well me, I've been here all the time tending to my apple pears.

unknown:

Yes.

SPEAKER_04:

But anyway, he was thrown into jail. That's not very nice.

SPEAKER_03:

You should put him in there, anyway, these days you have to put him in, don't you?

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, in those days they threw him in.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

With a big you know, like a trebuchet is what a trebuchet is? That's one of those things where you've got something you get from a coffee shop, isn't it? You're thinking of a flat white.

SPEAKER_03:

Wow.

SPEAKER_04:

These these trebuchets are on wheels, and you wheel them along, and think of like a big super like a catapult thing. Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes. I've seen one of them in action.

SPEAKER_04:

So he was thrown into jail, we say jail, but it is more like a single person lock-up.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, it is doing his porridge. You could barely stand up in there in this single person lock up, but what it was he was thrown into. There he was ordered to await his trial, of course. Now, here's a little factual fact for you. Back then, in the year 1603, the imprisoned personnel had to pay for their own food and lodgings.

SPEAKER_02:

Wow.

SPEAKER_04:

So not only were you thrown in at his Majesty's or Her Majesty's pleasure, as it would have been at the time, but you had to pay for it and all, cough ups and that's a bit um how'd you do that?

SPEAKER_03:

Well I suppose because people were getting arrested just to stay in there because they're poor. And they didn't have a roof over their heads, so they probably thought I'd gonna punch a copow. Or you know, or or or Rob some crisps from the shop or get put away for for the night. So that's why they well they're made in charge and because a lot of people would be doing that, wouldn't they, Stephen?

SPEAKER_04:

Well how does that work? Because if you're poor and you're not gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_03:

Because otherwise there'd be lots of people who didn't have anything that would do things criminally to be arrested, so they'd get put away in prison and have food and drink, etcetera, etc. So they probably thought, no, do you know what? I'm gonna stamp on this now, people. You're gonna have to pay for your food and drink if you go into pris. There you go.

SPEAKER_04:

Right, okay. What if, right? So we've got old Gammanel and he's skint. We know he's skint because he spent all his last he spent all his last pennies on his beer and his books on Barmaid Friend, and in the Nicto money, what it is, he's buried. So my question was gonna be, what do they do in that instance? Do they Right, that's twenty bags you owe us, mate. Sorry, I haven't got any money at all. Oh well in that case, what are you doing here? Out you go, son. You can't stay here. Out you go, hanging about here awaiting your trial or fancy. You can't afford it. Get out.

SPEAKER_03:

That's true. Yeah. Uh it's true, yeah. So it backfired them, didn't it?

SPEAKER_04:

So we don't know what happened. I don't really see the point in that. What Gamalao did, of course, as you would do, he went to his mum, didn't he? He sent for his mum. Mum? That's what everyone does. So when his mum came to visit, Gamalao confessed and told her that he'd buried the money in their orchard and asked her to bring some. Now, as we've seen, the Ratzes were a family of social standing. And now they're aware that there's a load of hooky bags in their orchard buried under the ground full of money.

SPEAKER_02:

What do you do?

SPEAKER_04:

What do they do? So guess what they did?

SPEAKER_03:

I'd say they spent it.

SPEAKER_04:

No. Mrs. Ratzi told paparazzi, who went running straight to the authorities.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, there you go, that's a paparazzi for you, isn't it? What a pillock.

SPEAKER_04:

He grassed him up, he did. What a rat. Ah, Mrs. R, she told her husband he went to the whoever it was, and they dug up the coins. So Gaman at this point knew that he was done for. He realized he was stuck inside this tiny little brick-built cell with no apparent way out.

SPEAKER_03:

Trying, probably because his parents let him down.

SPEAKER_04:

A listener might not know Market Deeping, the Deepings, as well as we do. And you referred earlier, Neil, did you not, to Deep St. James, Erswile named Jimmy Deeping.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Now in Jimmy Deeping, there is a landmark, is there not?

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, there is at the cross.

SPEAKER_04:

Jimmy Deeping Cross. And what was within that Jimmy Deeping Cross, Neil? Please thank you.

SPEAKER_03:

There's a little building, Stephen. I believed it was a little prison, am I right?

SPEAKER_04:

It was, it was. It was a little prison. You are right.

SPEAKER_03:

Who's Gamoleo in there?

SPEAKER_04:

Well, we don't know. I don't know. I don't think that's old enough. But I but that's the kind of thing. So it's a a little tiny lock-up in the middle of the village that only one man will be able to fit in.

SPEAKER_03:

And there is people all passed and spit in it and go criminal scum.

SPEAKER_04:

Probably. Take a little big walk through the bars or something like that.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, yeah. Smell that, you pig. No. So you can call them an idiot because they can't come out and get you.

SPEAKER_04:

Well, you say that. That's a very good point here, but you say that because there he was thinking I'm done for in this tiny little cell that has has no apparent way out. But he did. He escaped he did.

SPEAKER_03:

Did he?

SPEAKER_04:

He escaped.

SPEAKER_03:

Good man. Well not good man, but well done.

SPEAKER_04:

So here's an interesting another interesting little fact. I'm full of them, aren't I?

SPEAKER_03:

You are, yeah, full of something.

SPEAKER_04:

Here's another interesting little fact, right? Gamile Arazi, do you remember him?

SPEAKER_03:

Yep.

SPEAKER_04:

He was the first ever person to be the subject of a true crime genre.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh. Does that mean like an inspector morse thing?

SPEAKER_04:

No, because they were made-up stories. Well that means yes. Sorry, sorry. I should have broken that a lot more, lot more stories. You can stop writing to the Home Secretary there. Yes, they they were just made-up stories. As was your your Poirot and your Staskina.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh stop it. No, Starskina, Steve. Come on. That was real.

SPEAKER_04:

But your real crime stories, like your Jack the Rippers and your Cray twins, and those sort of people, he was the first ever person to be the subject of such a true crime genre. Or however pamphlet, I probably wouldn't get a phone. And the reason I'm telling you this at this point is because the pamphlet, or we're gonna call it a pamphlet, let's go for pamphlets.

SPEAKER_03:

Let's go for pamphlets.

SPEAKER_04:

The pamphlet written about his exploits, the life and death of Gamileo Ratzi, a famous thief of England, licensed for the press to John Trundle on the 2nd of May 1605. And in this this retelling of Gamileo Ratzi's life story, it says of his incarceration in this tiny little brick built cell with no apparent way out that he escaped out of the very narrow passage in his shirt. I beg your pardon? He escaped out of a very narrow passage in his shirt.

SPEAKER_03:

A very narrow passage in his shirt. Probably the sleeve. Well it's gotta be in it, I mean, how did you hide from a sleeve? I've I'd I'll have to check my shirt. I don't think you've got a narrow passage. Well, I have, but I'm not in my shirts.

SPEAKER_04:

Well, if anyone is listening to this from HMP Dartmouth.

SPEAKER_03:

Or check everyone's shirts here.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, hide look at your shirts. They're right to wear t-shirts now though, don't they?

SPEAKER_03:

They're probably caught up. That's why.

SPEAKER_04:

They've caught it.

SPEAKER_03:

Too many people escaping out of a spirit.

SPEAKER_04:

Too many people just putting on their shirt in the mornings, right? There's Fletcher. Fletcher's off on his own, mate. He's he's done a runner.

SPEAKER_03:

He's done one on his toes, he's gone through his shirt.

SPEAKER_04:

All we've found is his shirt. Yes. So after escaping the narrow passage in his shirt, Gamana stole a horse. Which at the time was like death sentence if you stole a horse.

SPEAKER_03:

But then he's got nothing to lose, has he? Because he's got nothing over home to go back to now, has he? Because his mum and dad let him over. So he's probably thinking, well, I've sold it, I'm gonna leave it up now. Might as well go for it.

SPEAKER_04:

He's a free spirit, he's dipping his gravy.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, do it. Let's do what I wanted to do.

SPEAKER_04:

Dipping his gravy, isn't he?

SPEAKER_03:

Yes. Dipping his bread in gravy.

SPEAKER_04:

Dipping his bread in gravy. So he stole a horse and made his way to I was quite liking him. He stole a horse and he made his way to Northamptonshire.

SPEAKER_03:

What idiot? What for? He's probably thought I'm at the I might be at lowest point. I might as well go live.

SPEAKER_04:

I might as well live in that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

What the hell did he go to Northampton for?

SPEAKER_04:

This is where he fell in with a couple of near do wells. A criminal called George Snell. Not Snail, as in what's that?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, George Stink.

SPEAKER_04:

But Snell, as in N4F N.

SPEAKER_03:

Neil.

SPEAKER_04:

Enfor Neil. Hello for Neil. Enfan Neil. So yes, so he met his fella, a queer criminal called George Snell, and a childhood friend from Market Deeping. And his childhood friend was called Henry Short Hose.

SPEAKER_03:

Henry Short Hose. You'd change that, wouldn't you? You would change it, yeah. Yeah. Because you'd literally call him Tiny Peanut, sort of villain. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. So what's your name? Oxlong. First name Mike. And Mike Oxlong. Sorry, I think you look very much like Henry Shorthoes. No.

SPEAKER_03:

No, nothing to do with that. We talk about short hose. Have a look. You look at this blood thing. Which it was 12 inches. So this bloody great thing.

SPEAKER_04:

So there they were, the three of them. There was George Snell, there was Gamileo Razzi, and there was Henry Shorthoes. All in Tiny Willy. All in your Northamptons.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

What they're doing there. There's three of them. What would you do if you were there, right? Put yourself in that position. You've just stolen a horse, you've escaped from prison. Um you've you've nicked some money that you're waiting to go on trial for, you've met a career criminal, you've met a friend from your childhood. What are you gonna do?

SPEAKER_03:

Talk about old times. Okay, Northampton for a start.

SPEAKER_04:

Well, I think most people would, wouldn't they?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, first thing you do, wouldn't it? Straight on the bloody straight on the M1 down the out of the way. Stop at Bellum off the U.S. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Uber.

SPEAKER_03:

And then I'd probably go on the Rob.

SPEAKER_04:

Would you?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

When you go to do the Rob.

SPEAKER_03:

I'll go somewhere more um affluent.

SPEAKER_04:

Effluent? More effluent than Northampton.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, somewhere no and affluent, not effluent. I was gonna say. Somewhere with a bit more money, a bit more t'ved.

SPEAKER_04:

I think it'd be hard to meet it.

SPEAKER_03:

Somewhere like your your London's or your Chelsea's and Birmingham or something like that. But yeah, I'll just get out I'll get out of Dodge.

SPEAKER_04:

You could go to Slough or somewhere. It'd be better than Northampton, surely. So that's not that's not too Boston. Boston Lincolnshire or Boston, Massachusetts?

SPEAKER_03:

Lying Combshire.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh Boston Lincolnshire, yeah. Anywhere anywhere it does, basically, wouldn't it?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, yeah. Someone's toilet.

SPEAKER_04:

Just get me out of this place. Like that film Rainspotted the toilet in there. I'd just go and curl up in that. This bound would be much better, isn't it? Do you know what I'd have done?

SPEAKER_03:

Go on.

SPEAKER_04:

There's me and my two mates, I'd have formed a BG's Tribute Act.

SPEAKER_03:

Would you?

SPEAKER_04:

That's my guess.

SPEAKER_03:

But the BGs went around then.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, a bit of forward thinking.

SPEAKER_03:

Uh yeah, yeah, of course. That's a good idea. Some sort of dance troupe.

SPEAKER_04:

You've got on going on the rob, I've got on forming a BG's Tribute Act.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

That's how it looked. Should we continue the story and find out what happened?

SPEAKER_03:

Well, that would be good, yeah, because you know, people want to have the tea or look get on with life.

SPEAKER_04:

One day, the gang stopped an old couple somewhere between Cambridge and Huntingdon and called them to stand and deliver. Oh, you're bloody right. They got on the rub. Yes. So they became highwaymen and achieved quick notoriety. Bloody hell. I thought I was on it then. Anyway.

SPEAKER_03:

Never mind. Now maybe next time, Stephen.

SPEAKER_04:

Maybe next time. They could have had a bit of night fever, couldn't they? We don't know. But one day the gang stopped an old couple somewhere between Cambridge and Huntington, so they got out of Northampton.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Credit for that.

SPEAKER_03:

He said, give us your money. Never, sir.

SPEAKER_04:

Never. They couldn't stand and deliver. And I think really your little reenaction there, Neil, rather dramatic as it was, was pretty much on the money. Because the old man said they had nothing but one shilling.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, whatever.

SPEAKER_04:

And they're on their way to the fair to sell their possessions, which were upon the cart, to purchase a cow. Now, Gavinale.

SPEAKER_03:

Do people live in cows? They do in Isle of Wight. What would you what are you gonna do with the cow?

SPEAKER_04:

Tell the time with it. Tell the time with it.

SPEAKER_03:

Tell the time with a cow.

SPEAKER_04:

Put it in your field. Sun goes around. You've got a shadow of where the shadow is of the cow. Got your time. You've got to think these things through, mate.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, how do you know where the first part point of time is?

SPEAKER_04:

I don't know, but it's not utterly ridiculous.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh dear. Oh dear. I'm sorry, listener. Sorry. Really sorry about this.

SPEAKER_04:

So Gamanael, is he gonna go for this? Is he gonna think, yeah, one shilling, yeah, right, mate.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, show us show us your loot. Come on, empty your pockets.

SPEAKER_04:

Enter your pockets. Which they did. And they weren't putting his chain, were they? It was right, they did only have one shilling. So do you know what Gamala did?

SPEAKER_03:

Went and stole a cow for him.

SPEAKER_04:

No, that probably would have made sense. But he didn't. Once he saw that they were being truthful, in a reverse robbery, he kind of invented the reverse robbery. I don't know, is that such a thing? Gamala gave the old man and woman forty shillings from his own money.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, it's a bit like Robin Hood type thing.

SPEAKER_04:

It is a bit like a Robin Hood type thing. Buy yourself a herd of cows.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Buy several cows. Open up a branch of burger chain or something.

SPEAKER_04:

Of course I've heard of cows, the plot said. Yes. Go and open up a costa or something like that, and you can use your own milk.

SPEAKER_03:

There you go.

SPEAKER_04:

They would have had um cow milk then, rather than anything else. They wouldn't have had Did cows produce milk back then? Yeah. But you wouldn't have got it out of your almonds or your oats.

SPEAKER_03:

Or soy or whatever it is, I don't think soy was back then.

SPEAKER_04:

Would they be like, well, that's that filth it came from it definitely came from cows and far other farmyard animals. I don't think you had duck's milk, but other farmyard animals.

SPEAKER_03:

I've had chicken milk before, that's quite nice.

SPEAKER_04:

Chicken milk?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, you've heard of that.

SPEAKER_04:

No.

SPEAKER_03:

You get it in China, they do chicken lip soup as well, it's really nice.

SPEAKER_04:

Do they?

SPEAKER_02:

Hmm.

SPEAKER_04:

I don't.

SPEAKER_03:

It's after when you go to Chinese next time, ask for some chicken lip soup. It's really nice.

SPEAKER_04:

Old Gamala is on the road. So he's done his robbery. He's given this man his money back plus.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

So he can go and buy his whole herd of cows.

SPEAKER_03:

So his conscience is clear.

SPEAKER_04:

He can set first McDonald's, he can do whatever he wants to do with this. Yeah. He's a he's winning favour with people as well as robbing other people.

SPEAKER_03:

Feeling good in himself.

SPEAKER_04:

How are you feeling at this moment, Neil? You sat down.

SPEAKER_03:

Yep.

SPEAKER_04:

Right. Have you got a good firm hold of your ribs?

SPEAKER_03:

Yep.

SPEAKER_04:

Because they might explode all over the place in a minute. Because another time, right? Gamaleel, Snell, and Oxwapper were out on the road and they robbed two wool merchants. And these merchants are people that sold wool. I mean wool merchants, that was their main trade. And wool in those days was highly valuable and highly prized commodity.

SPEAKER_03:

So they would have they would have been just taking some off a sheep and sofa then would have been worth quite a lot of money.

SPEAKER_04:

Well, you ought to process it and things, I suppose, haven't you? So these wool merchants were robbed by the Bee Gees.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

And by the roadside, just for a bit of a laugh, a bit of kicks, you know, bit of They did a dance routine. They didn't do a dance routine. Gun and Ale threw his sword, and I don't mean a pen and paper and drew a picture of it. I mean he drew it from its scabbard.

SPEAKER_03:

Pulled it of its sheath.

SPEAKER_04:

Pulled it from its sheath.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

And he dubbed the two wool merchants, Sir Walter Woolsack and Sir Samuel Sheepskin. What a lad.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, that is comedy, isn't it?

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

That is comedy.

SPEAKER_04:

That's positive film in those days.

SPEAKER_03:

Really, really struggling to laugh.

SPEAKER_04:

And to be honest, I found that funnier than anything Michael McIntyre's ever done. But even so, what a what a lad. And on top of that, he robbed them of forty of your pounds. Which we already know is about 5,500 twig. Yeah. So he's he's doing alright. He also took to wearing a mask described as having hideously repulsive features. Rather like that one you're wearing.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, this mine's a mask.

unknown:

Is it?

SPEAKER_03:

I can take mine off. Come on in. I don't want to.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, exactly. Thanks to a scholar called Gabriel Harvey, young Ratzy became known as Gamanale Hobgoblin. And was definitely the celebrity of this trio of highwaymen.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, he was the front man.

SPEAKER_04:

He was the front man, he was Barry Gibb. So there was old Gamanael hobgoblin, as he is being referred to now. Sunday, Ratzy or Hobgoblin, Snell, who's your career criminal, and Short Hose, who's Mike. Mike, Oxlong.

SPEAKER_03:

Oxlwapper, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

As he's going by now. Learnt about a gentleman who lived near the town of Bedford who'd recently come into possession of 100 of your standard pounds.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Why would you do that? Make it all sticky.

SPEAKER_04:

I said come into possession of.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, sorry.

SPEAKER_04:

Isn't come into£100. Now it'd be okay because you'd be able to wipe it clean, allegedly. It's pro it's probably a treasonable offence. So we know£100 is a sizable sum, don't we?

SPEAKER_03:

We know that because I would say it's about fifth about£25. If£40,500. Yeah, I'm about right, Steve.

SPEAKER_04:

It's£11,000. I reckon it's about 15 grand or somewhere around.

SPEAKER_03:

No, I'm one closer. It's not worth it out, though. A lot of money.

SPEAKER_04:

It's around the income of a wealthy country gent at the time. So the three decided, of course.

SPEAKER_03:

I want that.

SPEAKER_04:

We want that. And we'd go and rob the gentleman's house. So what would you do to rob a house that you know has got a hundred inside it that you want?

SPEAKER_03:

I'd um break in and take it.

SPEAKER_04:

I'd knock on the door and say you were travelling Bee Gees tribute at and uh would they like a performance of staying alive, get your way into the house that way. But they did neither of these things.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_04:

What they did, they staked out the house. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Stop them coming out.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, with some cuts of beef hanging off them. So there they were. You better now?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, thank you.

SPEAKER_04:

Good. There they were hidden away.

SPEAKER_03:

I lied.

SPEAKER_04:

There they were hidden away, biding their time. And then all of a sudden, the gentleman of the house, his brother, came bursting through the gates upon a horse riding out with this money in a bag. They like their bags. In a bag. They liked their bags, didn't they?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, it is. Well, it's a good way of carrying things.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. It it remains so.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

They've not really improved upon the bag. Anyway, the gang the gang gave chase, right? They dropped their guitars and and whatever, and gave chase and knocked the man off his horse.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_04:

But this brother hadn't rode out with the money without reason. He'd been sent out there because he was a bit of an ardener.

SPEAKER_03:

Bit of a fighter.

SPEAKER_04:

A bit of a fighter. He was a little bit weird, a little bit worried. He could swing his fists, this fellow.

SPEAKER_03:

A Levate tattooed his hands.

SPEAKER_04:

He did. I didn't know that. That was the next bit I was going to read out. Imagine he looked a bit like Vinny Jones. So the gang knocked him off his horse, and this this brother leapt up immediately and drew his sword again. And again, not not with the person. No drew it drawing it out of his scabard as we were.

SPEAKER_03:

Whipped it out of his leather slot.

SPEAKER_04:

Yes. He whipped it out and waggled it around in front of them.

unknown:

And he

SPEAKER_04:

Again, sparring with Gamile, then he injured him badly. George Snell came running up and grabbed the man from behind, but he would wouldn't he, George Snell. He's a career criminal. It was lucky that Henry Shorthoes hadn't grabbed him from behind. Who knows what could have happened? But Henry Shorthoes then come windbeeling his way into it, didn't he?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Do you want some? Do you want some? George some, mate. George some.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, that's it. He's getting involved with the rook. He joined the fight. And now this man starts to take a bit of a beating. And the gentleman's brother gave up the money.

SPEAKER_03:

Was his name Ronnie Pickering?

SPEAKER_04:

Gentleman's brother, yeah. So the three friends now with their their long wigs and beards and guitars and false teeth all cast to one side, they've given up the BG's thing.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Because they would do when they got all that money.

SPEAKER_04:

They've got all that money now. So they made off and parted ways and agreed to rendezvous in Subboke, which is in London, a few weeks later. There they would divide this booty between themselves.

SPEAKER_03:

So who took the money, please?

SPEAKER_04:

Well, that's a very good question, I'd think, as well. Because what would you do? You've got three criminals there.

SPEAKER_03:

And then arrange to meet up so then they can just talk about it.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, but why would you meet up if you've already got it in threes?

SPEAKER_03:

Well, exactly. It's one that just split it in three. They're not going to have the the law with the the lights flashing and going on the back of a horse. Woo! Come here, you fiends. And have time to count it out, surely. Anyway, that's what I'd do.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, they they want to lay low, wouldn't they? Where do they go to count out this money? And do they trust the others? Well, they're counting it out. What if she were counting out the money, then old Snell, being a career criminal, decided to whip out his pistol and you did.

SPEAKER_03:

It's their decision, it's their money to do what they like with it.

SPEAKER_04:

So there they were, right? They hadn't met up in Southwark yet, but they were down in London, ready to meet up. And speaking of George Snell, he was only caught trying to nick a horse in Duck Lane.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, yeah, Duck Lane, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

We've already said, didn't we, like, that stealing a horse is punishable by hanging. It's a deadly offence.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, deadly offence.

SPEAKER_04:

Deadly offence. He was in right bother with George Snell. So when he was taken before a judge, Snell pleaded for mercy. He said he was just trying to change the registration plates on it. And said he could give the authorities an even greater prize if they let him off.

SPEAKER_03:

You dirty pig.

SPEAKER_04:

And guess who this greater prize was?

SPEAKER_03:

It was the BG's clothes.

SPEAKER_04:

No, it was Gamale Hobgoblin. What? The most notorious highway man in England of the day.

SPEAKER_03:

What?

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, his mate Snell had grasped him again. So he's offering to give him up.

SPEAKER_03:

And I tell you what, if you were a if you were when them police comes to be jobby judgy people, you'd have a semi on, wouldn't you, with this sort of news?

SPEAKER_04:

Well, what Snell did, he gave him anyway and gave him the address where they could find Gamaleo Hobgoblin. So he too was arrested and taken to Newgate jail.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Newgate was notorious, wasn't it, at the time. It's on the site of what is now the old Bailey.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, it's it's better because it was they they changed the gate, didn't they? Because other people were getting through it beforehand.

SPEAKER_04:

Were they?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, so that's why they still called it Newgate because they changed the gate from the old one, because the old one was wearing out a bit. Bit of history for you there, Stephen.

SPEAKER_04:

There is an old gate in London.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, that's it. They've moved it.

SPEAKER_04:

Alright. Okay, well, thank you, Neil. Thanks for that.

SPEAKER_03:

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_04:

I feel a better person. If you were paying attention, you've got Gamadale Hobgoblin, Gamadale Ratzi, in the run. He's in the nick, isn't he?

SPEAKER_03:

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

You've got Snell doing some services.

SPEAKER_03:

They've only got my coxwalper now.

SPEAKER_04:

Exactly. He's still out there, ain't he? Oh, Henry Short Hose was still at liberty. So what do you reckon Henry Short Hose did?

SPEAKER_03:

I would have said he'd have found the money and then um run away. Oh I wouldn't have gone to Spain because they would have had a fight with him. I'd run away to uh somewhere abroad.

SPEAKER_04:

What Henry Short Hose did, having heard about the arrests of his friends, he only went in to Newgate jail in disguise.

SPEAKER_03:

Ooh. Did he take a shirt in with him?

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, that's a good idea. He could have done, couldn't he? He could have just took a shirt in and said, Yeah, climb inside that quick.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Narrow passage just up the left sleeve.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. And then you go down a slide like you're doing Jamie and the Magic Torch.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, and landings at a bull pit in Ipswich.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, that's what he fished. Let's have a look. And he was arrested. He was putted out by the jailkeepers and arrested as well. Disguised him, wasn't it? It was a bit, yeah. I reckon he went like the back end of a pantomime horse or something. Yeah, he'll probably see his face.

SPEAKER_03:

Perhaps when he went back and got some of the false teeth from the Bee Gees thing and thought, that'll do it.

SPEAKER_04:

That'll do it. I'll go as Barry Gibbs. But anyway, he was done. He was in there and all now.

SPEAKER_03:

He was in there as well, what an idiot.

SPEAKER_04:

What an idiot. Nice rescue plan, Henry, they said. With his short hose, maybe you could dangle your penis out the window and climb down that. Oh no, we can't. Henry's short hose.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, it's dig.

SPEAKER_04:

So the three of them were then moved to Bedford for trial and sentencing. At Bedford, Gamel somehow managed to free himself from his irons, because they were clapping irons. They used to do that in those days.

SPEAKER_03:

Give them a round of applause when they put them on.

SPEAKER_04:

He used to put them in irons and give them a round of irons.

SPEAKER_03:

They put them on, there's big people with like a ring of people around them having to give them a round of applause for doing it.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

unknown:

Oh.

SPEAKER_04:

That's where it comes from. That's where it comes from. So yeah, he was clapped in irons, but he still somehow managed to escape.

SPEAKER_03:

Why, probably because he had a shirt on.

SPEAKER_04:

They probably left him in his shirt.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Idiots.

SPEAKER_04:

He was thwarted though. So although he managed to get out of his irons, he couldn't get out of Bedford prison before they recaptured him. Boom. Good news. George Snell, that snake in the grass, he never did obtain the reprieve that he wanted.

SPEAKER_02:

Good.

SPEAKER_04:

All three notorious criminals were found guilty and sentenced to hang on the twentieth of March, sixteen oh five, five past four.

SPEAKER_03:

No time to do it. This whole thing only took three minutes. Well, you wait for people to finish work, wouldn't you, if they want to watch it or something or put it on TV.

SPEAKER_04:

Well, there was a good crowd there by all lookouts.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, they must have got a day off, maybe, to go and watch it.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. So here, within the confines of Bedford Jail Yard, Gamaleo Ratzi, Gamaleo Hobgoblin, same fella, if you remember. He performed one final theatrical, crowd pleasing act.

SPEAKER_03:

Did he sing a BG song?

SPEAKER_04:

No, he didn't, but he missed the opportunity. I hope everybody short hose did. I may paint a picture for you now, Neil.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, well, can we go on with the story first? I know you like doing things with crayons and stuff, but can we just get on with the story?

SPEAKER_04:

It's good, isn't it? It's a little teddy vague.

SPEAKER_03:

It's really nice, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. If you imagine you're climbing up these steps, your hands are bound before you with rough rope. You're climbing up these steps towards the scaffold.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. And there's a man there with a mask on. Normally they have his big beard or something, or they dribble when they talk.

SPEAKER_04:

I don't know whether they had masks on in those days, but I don't know.

SPEAKER_03:

Executioners probably did, didn't they?

SPEAKER_04:

They probably did. They were chopping his head off. But then you imagine the steps were creaking and they were getting wet because it was starting to rain, and Gamala walked slowly towards his death. You can see you imagine you think you can see this big wooden gallows with a rope at the end, and you then feel it going around your neck and the rope's all rough because no one's bothered to put any cream on you or anything like that to soothe, you know, stops from chasing. Think about chasing with a neck.

SPEAKER_03:

No, no, no. But didn't have health and safety back then, did they?

SPEAKER_04:

No, I mean just imagine they hang around, wasn't he wearing a high-free vest or anything?

SPEAKER_03:

Gloves.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, imagine there you are, you're getting this rough hemp rope around your neck, and it's starting to rain, the floor's all slippery. See, that's another thing, the floor's all slippery. I mean, if he's got this rope round his neck and he slips, he could fall off.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_04:

He could do. Think of these things, do they?

SPEAKER_03:

No.

SPEAKER_04:

But at the precise moment the hangman was about to kick the stall out from underneath Gamadel Ratzi. He cried out Ah Well done, that's that's very good for our listener, that creates the picture.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Gamadale cried out and said he had something important to tell the sheriff that he's only just remembered.

SPEAKER_03:

Well it would do, because other things would be on your mind, wouldn't he?

SPEAKER_04:

We forgot to record bargaining. It could be anything, couldn't it?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, it could have been anything.

SPEAKER_04:

He told the sheriff that he had something to say, so they let him down. Rather than take the sheriff up to him, they let him down, still bound and closely guarded. Gamaleo went up to the sheriff and he said his piece to him at quite some length. He was talking away. And in fact, it was at such a length that the sheriff had to interrupt. And that's what it was that Gamalao actually wanted, because he just got on and on and on.

SPEAKER_03:

Bit like this podcast.

SPEAKER_04:

Bit like this podcast, yeah. It got on the arm. But by now, the light rain, of which we referred earlier, had become an absolute downpour.

SPEAKER_03:

Torrential, if you will. Torrential.

SPEAKER_04:

Torrential, if you will. It became an absolute downpour. And everyone, the executioner, the sheriff, gamile, everyone was thoroughly drenched.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, and he's probably thinking it's just get on with this bloody thing when you please.

SPEAKER_04:

And do you know what? That that was all Gamala wanted. It was a final little prank on his way out the door to see everybody absolutely soaked to the skin just to watch him get his comeuppance. Okay. What a little prank, is that.

SPEAKER_03:

A bit weird.

SPEAKER_04:

It's not as funny as knighting the two war merchants. But it's up there with one of his best ones.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, it's good though, isn't it? Yeah, I suppose so, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. Now, as we've seen.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. We didn't see, but we've um listened.

SPEAKER_04:

Very good point. Well made.

SPEAKER_03:

You're welcome. Thank you. I know I put it across one honestly, didn't I?

SPEAKER_04:

As we've listened.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Two pamphlets were in fact printed about Gamalael's life, and they were the first examples of true crime genre. We've said this, haven't we?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. We think the other one was a joke book, because he was a bit of a bit of a lad.

SPEAKER_04:

Without them, the life of Gamalael, Ratsee Stroke Hovgoblin, the highway robber, would have been lost for all time. But because we've got them, we know about Gamalael Ratseed. We know how a shirt can help you escape a seemingly impregnable jail.

SPEAKER_03:

We know that you don't put money behind a bar and that for the specs and ones would look after it for you.

SPEAKER_04:

We know that if you go to Northampton for any reason whatsoever, the best thing is to get out quickly.

SPEAKER_03:

And we know that you don't make much money out of a BG's tribute act.

SPEAKER_04:

No, you're far better off going on the rob on the highway. So you guess that one writes a fair play to you. But that, listener, is the end of our little tale of Gamaleo Ratzi and the very first episode of Honourable Mentions. Honourable Mentions from the two of us. My name has been Steve. Your name has been Neil. Hello, Neil.

SPEAKER_03:

Hello, Steve.

SPEAKER_04:

Thank you, listener. Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_03:

Thank you, listener. Thank you very, very much. And you hang up. No, no, you hang up.

SPEAKER_04:

The great big wet kiss of a thank you has now developed into more of a uh sticky finger of a thank you. Smelly finger.

SPEAKER_03:

Smelly finger.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, smelly finger of a thank you. Thank you very much, listener, for your time. Please. Please tune in next time as we will be recanting another fascinating story on Honorable Mentions. And we will be leaving you now.

SPEAKER_00:

Bye. My name is Arnie. I'm a good friend of the boys. I want to thank you for listening to Honorable Mentions. We really value your kind support. Please like, subscribe, leave a five-star review, and ask everyone you know to do the same. If they won't, my advice is to stalk them relentlessly until they do. You can email Honorable Mentions directly at honorable mentionspad at gmail.com. That's all one word and honorably spelled the English way with the U.S. Remember that. It's very important. The whole thing is an Uncover Brothers production research by my good friend Stephen Webb, and it contains one hundred percent unscripted bullcrap without any additives. The theme is written and performed by Peppy and the Bandits. Go and give them a listen wherever you stream your music. And you know what? We'll be back.