Honourable Mentions

The Broken Organ and the Birth of Silent Night: The True Story of Gruber and Mohr

• Steve and Neil Webb • Season 1 • Episode 9

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Merry Christmas and welcome to a special episode of Honourable Mentions where, to celebrate the season, we are looking into the lives of Franz Gruber and Joseph Mohr, whose 1818 collaboration in the parish church of Oberndorf, Austria, gave the us the world's favourite Christmas Carol - Silent Night or Stille Nacht if you want to show off. 

But we're not stopping there - oh no - like Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, we're going on until the job is done, so drop those turkey drumsticks and settle in as we explore the legacy of the Carol and its part in the famous Christmas truce of the First World War.

It's a fun packed, festive sleigh ride back in time. 

If you've ever wondered what Steven and Neil's favourite Christmas films and songs are, this is the only place to be. And remember to listen out for an exclusive Christmas message from the real Santa Claus himself! 

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SPEAKER_04:

Christmas listener welcome to the special Christmas edition of Honourable Mentions. Now then I'd like you to do something for me, listener, if you could please. Close your eyes very tightly and let's all try and conjure up one of Santa's little pixies. What's that you're shouting? He's behind me. I don't think he is. Let's close our eyes tight. Oh honourable mentions. Is that really Santa's Pixies or is that hello, Neil trying to trick me? It's me, Stevie. Oh you tricky trickster. Oh never mind, listener, we've got Neil. Unless Neil is one of Santa's little pixies.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm not telling you.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh that's what one of Santa's little pixels would say. Exactly. Exactly that. How exciting, listener. What are you hoping for for Christmas, Neil from Santa Christmas?

SPEAKER_03:

I would just like world peace. Would you? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Well that ain't gonna happen. So what the slippers is your second choice.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm second choice, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

After World Peace.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. I've got that age now as slippers.

SPEAKER_04:

And for the listener at home, Uncle Neil has his own special Christmas traditions in the Neil household. Because you have your Christmas dinner of a Christmas Eve evening, don't you?

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, we do, yes. Thank you very much for asking, yes.

SPEAKER_04:

And that's because Mrs. Neal was brought up in joymany to a British household, a military household serving in Germany, where of course they do have their different traditions.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes. And it works very well because Christmas Day we can just spend chilling out and we just play with whatever's available. Like my sons get toys and games and stuff like that, and we play them.

SPEAKER_04:

You play with yourselves, do you, on Christmas Day? Yeah, why not?

SPEAKER_03:

Don't make me a bad person, is it?

SPEAKER_04:

No, you can do what you like. Exactly. So we're off today to November the twenty fifth, seventeen eighty-seven. That's just a month before Christmas.

SPEAKER_03:

Wow.

SPEAKER_04:

In a very special Christmas episode of Ho ho Honourable Mentions. We're going to the Austrian village of Hawkburg.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh I've known that, yes. Nice place.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, quite well, dear. Yep. And we're going to the birth of someone called Franz Xaver Gruber.

SPEAKER_03:

Ooh.

SPEAKER_04:

Who was born to Joseph and Maria Gruber, a pair of linen weavers.

SPEAKER_03:

Ooh. Linen weavers.

SPEAKER_04:

So we're not talking about the birth of the baby Jesus, we're talking about the birth of Franz Xavier Gruber.

SPEAKER_03:

They're all called Franz, isn't he?

SPEAKER_04:

However, you say that, Neil. But Franz is given name recorded in the baptismal record as Conrad Xavier. But for reasons unknown, this was later changed formally to Franz Xavier Gruber. So he wasn't initially a Franz, he was initially a Conrad. The Gruber family didn't have Netflix or anything else to keep them entertained over the long winter evenings like what we have today. And we know this because little Franz was the fifth of six children.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, yes, they didn't have TV or anything, did they?

SPEAKER_04:

They had to keep themselves entertained there. And as with the rest of the little Grubers, he was expected to learn the family trade, but Franz didn't want anything to do with any weaving. Thank you very much indeed.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Instead, for a young age, Franz Xaver Gruber could feel a rhythm scratching in his little crop chits. Really? When you're a young boy struck with an urge, you need a bit of help pulling it off. I'm sure you'll agree.

SPEAKER_03:

I don't know much things.

SPEAKER_04:

So it fell to Hawkesburg teacher, Andreas Peterleckner. Pulling it off? Yeah, to give little friends music lessons and some help in pulling it off. Okay. Why are you laughing at that?

SPEAKER_03:

No, no reason. No reason whatsoever.

SPEAKER_04:

It's perfectly sensible. The little boy's got a dream, he needs some help achieving it.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, yeah. I'm with you on that one.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. So despite little Franz's love of tinkling the ivories and other musical metaphors I can't think of right now. Can you think of any musical metaphors right now?

SPEAKER_03:

Don't really want to.

SPEAKER_04:

Blowing his oboe, something like that. Blowing his own trumpet, that's a musical metaphor. Franz did work as a weaver until his eighteenth birthday, at which point Joseph, who was his father if you recall, which is another Christmas coincidental.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Because Joseph was also well he wasn't the father of your baby Jesus, was he? He was your stepfather of your baby Jesus. At which point Joseph, being an honest, upright citizen, kept his word and gave his son his blessing to go and pursue the career of his dream. So at 18 years old, Franz went and worked as a school teacher.

SPEAKER_03:

Hang on. That wasn't his dream, was it?

SPEAKER_04:

No, I thought it was a musician. Let me check that. No, definitely says school teacher. Perhaps he was a music teacher. No, primary school teacher.

SPEAKER_03:

Primary school teacher.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. There you go. Back then, in Austria, a position as a school teacher often included the opportunity to serve as the organist in the local church.

SPEAKER_03:

Right.

SPEAKER_04:

That's a relief because I thought we were gonna have to start over, but we're back with the church organist he was.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

So here we go. You ready to continue?

SPEAKER_03:

I'm ready.

SPEAKER_04:

Are you sitting comfortably?

SPEAKER_03:

No.

SPEAKER_04:

Are you excited for tomorrow?

SPEAKER_03:

What's happening tomorrow?

SPEAKER_04:

Christmas, you fool.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh yes. Yes, I'm excited for tomorrow.

SPEAKER_04:

What's happening tomorrow? Before he could begin, however, Franz would need to complete his musical education. Of course he would. Who does he think he is?

SPEAKER_03:

Exactly. Can't just walk into that job, can't you?

SPEAKER_04:

What would happen if musicians just turned up with no training whatsoever and just began being a musician? You'd end up with Ed Sheeran all over the place. Yeah, and Coldplay and things like that, wouldn't you? Yeah. Dollar. Do you remember Dollar?

SPEAKER_03:

I do, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

So he's there and he's completing his musical education by studying with the church organist at Berghausen, a man by the name of George Hart Dobler. George spelt without an E on the end.

SPEAKER_01:

Gorg.

SPEAKER_04:

That's typical Austrian, isn't it? Because of a bit more effort. Austria could have been Australia. Then he needed a few more letters. They couldn't even be bothered to spell George. The hills could have been alive with the sound of digery does, which I think would have made a much better film. No, you don't agree. Er no. No. You like a bit of sand of music here.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh it's one of my wife's favourite film.

SPEAKER_04:

Is it? It's her favourite favouritist film of all of the films. Is it? Then again, Mrs. Neil doesn't like Star Wars, does she?

SPEAKER_03:

She's more into that one with that kid with a twig.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, it's like Uncle Barry Plopper or something.

SPEAKER_03:

That's it, yeah. Think they wants to beat anyone with a stick.

SPEAKER_04:

What's your favourite Christmasist film, please? Elf, oh that's a good one.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes, I like Elf. I like Miracle on 34th Street, thank you.

SPEAKER_04:

It's also a good one. The original or the colored version.

SPEAKER_03:

The Rich Attenbrewer.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, they're both quite good.

SPEAKER_03:

I do like um Deck the Halls, and I also like Christmas with the Cranks. Do you? Yeah. One of the worst films ever made. I know you do, because you're more intelligent than me.

SPEAKER_04:

That's that's just a brilliant, brilliant film. Muppet Christmas Carol. Yeah, it's alright.

SPEAKER_03:

I'll just get fed up with the songs on it.

SPEAKER_04:

I do like that. So that's Christmas films gone through, listener. If you'd like to tell us what your favourite Christmas films of all time are, you can contact us on your social medias or you can email us at honourable mentionspod at gmail.com. We'd very much like to hear from you, and we will reply and tell you whether your choice of Christmas film is brilliant or a load of old toss like Christmas with the Cranks.

SPEAKER_03:

Or Die Hard.

SPEAKER_04:

Diehard is a brilliant film. Yes, good film.

SPEAKER_03:

It's a good film, it's not a bloody Christmas film.

SPEAKER_04:

It is a Christmas film. No, it isn't. Die Hard is a Christmas film. What's the theme to Die Hard, please? Is it Run DMC, Christmas in Hollis? Oh yes it is, isn't it? What's the name of his wife in that film, please? Is it Holly? Oh yes it is, isn't it? What's the main plot device in that film? Is it that they all turn up for a Christmas party? Oh yes it is, isn't it? What does he write on that man's sweatshirt when he's done him in and killed? Ho ho ho, now I've got a machine gun. Oh yeah, he does, doesn't he? And yet it doesn't have to have a santer in it. Doesn't have to have a Santa in it to be a Christmas. It does. Of course it doesn't. It does. I digress.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_04:

I think I'm going a nice seasonal red.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_04:

Red and gold for my crest that I'm dying.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. Can we get back to the story now, please? I'm completely lost where we are.

SPEAKER_04:

Everybody calm.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Right, so where we were is that Franz was 18 and is about to begin his musical education. Then you learnt the basics from Peter Lechner, didn't he? And he passed the necessary exams in 1806, and in 1807 he became an actual school teacher, if you can imagine such a thing.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_04:

With that, he became the church caretaker and organist in a place called Arnsdorf, up in the mountainy bits of Austria. There he married a lady called Elizabeth Engelsberger, who just so happened to be the widow of the previous school teacher. This sounds about Agatha Christie now. It's another little Christmas twist.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Agatha Christie on the television over Christmas. Yeah, sounds like she's is she's doing in her husbands who were all previous school teachers? I'd be watching my back if I were him.

SPEAKER_03:

Same here.

SPEAKER_04:

In 1816, so he's got been murdered. In 1816, Franz chose to add to his musical responsibilities by becoming the organist at the newly established neighbouring parish of Obendorf.

SPEAKER_03:

Alright, that's a song, wasn't it? Obendorf. That's Hazel Vice.

SPEAKER_04:

I wouldn't recognise it from the tune. Obendorf is a picturesque little town of mostly pale-coloured buildings with red tiled roofs, all snuggled down in the rolling alpine foothills just north of the city of Salzburg in Austria.

SPEAKER_03:

Nice.

SPEAKER_04:

You ready for the clang?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

I've been there. Clang! I've been to Salzburg. Beautiful little place. Birthplace of your Mozart, I believe. He went there.

SPEAKER_03:

Interesting.

SPEAKER_04:

Wolfgang Amadeus.

SPEAKER_03:

Sorry.

SPEAKER_04:

Anyway, back to our little favourite lists. What's your what's the best Christmas song?

SPEAKER_03:

Uh The Pogues.

SPEAKER_04:

Fairy tale in New York.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, I'm wearing. I like that one. I like that one. I like can't think what her name is now, is it Arlene Dove or something like that? Baby Come Home for Christmas. And no one's there is good. No one should be alone on Christmas.

SPEAKER_03:

Slade.

SPEAKER_04:

I'll tell you I'll tell you what, listener, a very underappreciated but up there with your cheesy Christmas records, show Wadi Waddy, hey Mr. Christmas. That's us now listed Christmas films and Christmas music, listener. So again, if you do want to tell us what your favourite Christmas music is, or even tell Neil where he went wrong, then you can please do so on social media or HonourableMentions pod at gmail.com. Thank you. Painted a lovely little picture for you there so you can imagine what Obendorf looks like.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, so he's the organist at Oberndorf now, right? Fine. Yep.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, as well as the other place.

SPEAKER_03:

As a peach as a teacher as well.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

He went to Obendorf with one eye on being offered the position of school teacher in the parish.

SPEAKER_03:

Do you have a lazy eye in?

SPEAKER_04:

No, when I say he had one eye, I meant as in like the saying, oh he's got one eye on that giant.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, not got a lazy eye.

SPEAKER_04:

He's got a lazy eye, so he's looking over at you, but his other one's checking out your boobs.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

No, no, not like that.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay.

SPEAKER_04:

He went there one eye on being offered the position of school teacher in the parish. But alas and a lack, he never was. Instead, Franz spent many hectic days jam-packed with the tasks associated with being a schoolteacher, a church caretaker, and organist for two churches. The damn fool. He's let himself in for it there, hasn't he? Despite his despite his heavy workload, Franz's school was judged to be one of the best run in the whole district, with a proficiency to be admired. So actually, he may have been a very busy boy, but he was very good at his job.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, there's only two schools in the district, so. How do you know? I know everything about Austrian things.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, do you?

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Do you speak Austrian as well? Because you do speak a lot of I do. Is that Austrian?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, there you go, listener. Another little bit of education for you from the tongue of Neil and Resident Multilinguist.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, you're welcome. Or You're welcome. And that's Austrian as well.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. Cool. The high point of Franz's time in Arnsdorf, of course, and you're going to tell me this, but I'll get in before you can butt in and interrupt. The high point of Franz's time in Arnsdorf was the 300-year Jubilee celebration for the villages. Maria Arm Mosul Pilgrimage.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, fuck it, I was just about to say that.

SPEAKER_04:

You were just going to tell me what about the Maria Arms Pilgrimage. Yeah. Yeah, there we go. We're in there now. And I do apologise to any Austrian listeners we may have, because unlike Neil, I am not a multilinguist, and I may have mangled the pronunciation, but I think it's Maria Arm Mosalt Pilgrimage. This is a five-day festival that drew 20,000 visitors. Someone moved busy with a pencil. Yeah, when I say drew 20,000 visitors, someone didn't have to draw 20,000 visitors. It attracted 20,000 visitors. 20,000 visitors thought, oh, I'll go to that, and they did. You with it now?

SPEAKER_03:

Yep.

SPEAKER_04:

Okay. Abbots from both the Michael Boyan Monastery, to which the Arnsdorf Church belonged, as well as the important St. Peter's Monastery of Salzburg, joined the thousands of other visitors in listening to orchestral performances, all under the careful direction of Him.

SPEAKER_03:

Him Joseph.

SPEAKER_04:

Thanks for paying attention.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. What's his name?

SPEAKER_04:

Franz Gruber. Yes. I'm glad you were sitting there you're sitting there wrapped. Thanks for paying attention. So this was like a nineteenth century Glastonbury, if you can imagine that. Only not in England.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, and not in a field. Or Glastonbury. Or a paper stage.

SPEAKER_04:

And there was only one band. Yeah. And they only played hymns. But apart from that, it was just like Glastonbury.

SPEAKER_03:

Fair enough.

SPEAKER_04:

The year after all this frivolity, in the summer of eighteen seventeen, Paul Health had forced an assistant priest with a love of poetry from the town of Mariaphar to return to Salzburg, where he'd originally been, and following some recuperation, take up a new position, assisting the Paris priest in Obendorf.

SPEAKER_03:

Which is Franz's place.

SPEAKER_04:

That's Francis Patch, in it, as his gaff is on his manor.

SPEAKER_03:

What are you doing here, you slag, or as I say in Austrian? What's doing here, you slag? Is that for can you translate that again, please? What are you doing here, you slag?

SPEAKER_04:

Thank you. Just for our listener at home and what not have followed the Austrian. This new priest was called Joseph Moore. Spelled M O H R. Moer Joseph Moore. Joseph was born in Salzburg on the 11th of December 1792. So another Christmas-ish birth. And was the son of an unmarried embroiderer called Anna, and a mercenary soldier by the name of Franzmore.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh Franz, old yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Franzmore deserted the Austrian army. Probably because he thought he was signing up for the Australian army.

SPEAKER_03:

Probably, yeah. Didn't get enough tin ears and get when they were saying little knives.

SPEAKER_04:

One of those little knives that gets stones out of horses' ooves.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

And little magnifying glass and things on them. Yeah. But more than that, Frantzmore was an absolute dirtbag.

SPEAKER_03:

Why?

SPEAKER_04:

Because he also deserted Anna before little Joseph was born.

SPEAKER_03:

What a git.

SPEAKER_04:

What a git. That's not a very Christmassy thing to do, is it?

SPEAKER_03:

No. It is calling it a git though. I'll put tinsel on that git. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Christmas is a time of cheer and love for all mankind.

SPEAKER_03:

And women kind.

SPEAKER_04:

And women kind. And all creatures, great and small. And and little donkeys, particularly.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes. That's no one.

SPEAKER_04:

And yet Joseph was left abandoned by his father before he even had a chance to be born. He was one of four illegitimate children born to Anna. I don't know whether all Franz is or what, I just don't know. So stop asking. I don't know, Neil. Please just drop it. I really don't know. And this and the single parent family unit has to survive in extreme poverty and the cruel judgment of their community. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Especially in your Austria near Salzburg in those days. However, one day a local priest who happened to be the leader of music at Salzburg Cathedral took a shine to young Joseph, as local priests tend to do.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, to young boys.

SPEAKER_04:

In spirit of the season, we won't take that any further.

SPEAKER_03:

No.

SPEAKER_04:

So Joseph began life with the church, which eventually led him to Obendorf.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Now naturally, through their day jobs in Obendorf, Franz and Joseph became acquainted.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Do you think they became friends, or do you think it was like a bloody fear where they just couldn't stand each other on a constant?

SPEAKER_03:

No, I think they became friends as Christmas.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, you're right, Neil. It is Christmas, and they did become friends. Nice. But they had no idea that one day their circumstances would weld their legacies together for all eternity. Now brace yourself because this is our little Christmas story here. Okay. And it begins with a sad tragedy. Right. Usually tragedies when the feeling's gone and you can't go on. It's tragedy. So anyway, the story goes that on Christmas Eve, eighteen eighteen, the organ in St. Nicholas's Church opened on Off broke down.

SPEAKER_03:

Well cried.

SPEAKER_04:

No, I don't mean emotionally. I mean it just stopped working. Yeah. And this is on Christmas Eve in 1880, imagine.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, got a hole in its pipe.

SPEAKER_04:

The whole town is thinking, oh, it's Christmas Eve, rubbing the hands together, we can go along to the church this evening, because this would have been a very religious time.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

They'd have all thought, oh, we'll go to church this evening, we'll sing some carols, we'll listen to the organ, we'll go home and have some eggnog, and then in the morning when we wake up, St. Nicholas would have been.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes.

SPEAKER_04:

But no, the bloody organ's broken. It was like a well-delivered googly from the pavilion end. Unplayable. That's my little cricket reference.

SPEAKER_03:

Right season for cricket?

SPEAKER_04:

It is the right season for cricket if you're Australia.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, exactly. Well, we're not though, we're Austrian. Remember you messed it up, you got it wrong.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, damn. Yeah. I told you. But hark, Neil Santos, the Pixie Helper. Yeah. Is that is that good news, I hear, upon yonder? I hope so. Because Frenz Gruber's own account of the day, he makes no reference to his struggling to revive a limp organ. So maybe we can all relax and just drop it and move on.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, that'd be a good one.

SPEAKER_04:

And that's the end of our little podcast.

SPEAKER_03:

Let's not mention limp organs on Christmas.

SPEAKER_04:

Let's not, no. You were like North Pole, if you rather.

SPEAKER_03:

If you will, yes.

SPEAKER_04:

Whatever the circumstances, what we do know for sure is on that cold Christmas Eve, high up in the snowy mountains, Joseph Moore, bless him, presented Franz Gruber with a poem he'd written back in 1816, two years past. Stick some music to that sunshine, and we'll bash it out tonight during the service, he said.

SPEAKER_03:

What about the song?

SPEAKER_04:

Just two of us, a guitar and a few choir boys, everyone else can just stand and watch. Yeah. Now, downhill.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes.

SPEAKER_04:

Here's where it gets a bit complicated because we're in Christmas Eve 1818, aren't we?

SPEAKER_03:

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04:

And now we're gonna have to go a bit wibbly wobbly. And we're going back to 1816 in Mariaphar.

SPEAKER_03:

Right. Two years previous.

SPEAKER_04:

Two years previous, where Joseph Moore was living as an assistant priest. Mariafah is south of Salzburg as you head towards Slovenia, further up the mountains there.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Near the Toberones.

SPEAKER_04:

You're picturing that, are you?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, yeah, we've got it.

SPEAKER_04:

Now stay with this because this is important.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm here.

SPEAKER_04:

Still there, Newell!

SPEAKER_03:

Yep.

SPEAKER_04:

Hello, Neil! Mariafart had been under occupation by the Bavarian army as a hangover from the Napoleonic Wars. You heard of the Napoleonic Wars?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I have, yeah, something to do with Napoleon.

SPEAKER_04:

Something to do with Napoleon, weren't they? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. The occupation had been brutal, but now they were withdrawing, handing back the Duchy of Salzburg in exchange for its own territories.

SPEAKER_03:

So they were pulling out the duchy.

SPEAKER_04:

They were, and passing it to the left hand side. From his small window, damped with condensation, Joseph watched the remains of the occupied army lumber past. So to conjure up the scene for you, I'm going to come over all Charles Dickens. Just for a moment.

SPEAKER_03:

I know you like reading books, Stephen, they're that excited about it.

SPEAKER_04:

That's better. Right, we can now carry on. So these Bavarians, are you ready?

SPEAKER_03:

Yep.

SPEAKER_04:

The creak of their wheels on the heavy wagons was a mournful groan. They shouted curses, a final venomous farewell to the land they were forced to relinquish.

SPEAKER_02:

See you later, git. That wasn't very bavarian.

SPEAKER_04:

Can you speak Bavarian?

SPEAKER_02:

See you later, your gids.

SPEAKER_04:

That's very good. Is that fluent? Yeah. A broken lantern lay shattered on the cobbles. A small act of spites leaving glass shards to glitter threateningly in the moonlight.

SPEAKER_01:

Hmm.

SPEAKER_04:

It's good that isn't it?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

I wrote that when I came over all Charles Dickens.

SPEAKER_03:

Nice. That's very exciting. Well done.

SPEAKER_04:

Now, I don't know whether I've mentioned this, but I've been to Salzburg.

SPEAKER_03:

You didn't mention that, no.

SPEAKER_04:

Didn't I?

unknown:

No.

SPEAKER_04:

No. And it's a lovely place and it's very hard to imagine such squalor and destitution. So what I did there in my mind, using the power of my imagination, is I um took myself to Northampton.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Outside the Postula Fried Chicken on a Christmas Eve.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

And just talk to imagine what it would be like. And then I wrote that, you see.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, because that would be hell on earth, wouldn't it?

SPEAKER_04:

Exactly. So that's where we were there, really.

SPEAKER_03:

We were in a bad day.

SPEAKER_04:

Postula fried chicken. That's where we were. So that's the power of the imagination. A little tip for your listener. Little power of the imagination.

SPEAKER_03:

If you want to imagine something hell worth on earth, just imagine Northampton.

SPEAKER_04:

Hell worth on earth.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

For years now, the town had been charged with a lingering tension. This is Maria Far, I should point out.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Although Northampton probably has the same as well. But in Maria Pharr, the quiet fear that a knock at the door could mean serious trouble. But now that fear was slowly, tentatively beginning to ebb away. Nice. Outside there was a distant barking of a dog, and Joseph Oh. Did you hear that?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, what was it?

SPEAKER_04:

I don't know, it sounded like the distant barking of a dog. How peculiar. That's a cr Christmas miracle. Yeah. Outside there was a distant barking of a dog. And Joseph suddenly realized it was the only sound he could hear. Recently, a poem had been forming in his mind. It was a response not just to the ongoing departure of the soldiers, but to these ever longer hollows of silence left in their wake. In in the dim and flickering light, he dipped his quill.

unknown:

Right.

SPEAKER_04:

Look a fuck a feathery feather.

SPEAKER_03:

Feathery feather.

SPEAKER_04:

Feathery feather as opposed to like a big Byron. Yeah. The scratching sound, a small, steady voice over the paper, as the words seemed to flow with divine inspiration. And so that's the two-year-old poem Joseph Moore was now shoving into Franz Gruber's hand, giving him just a few hours to set it to music and save a whole Christmas Eve for the town of Obendorf. No pressure. And this is the point where Franz muttered his immortal and off misquoted words. He said, Come on, come on, Jones. If last Christmas I gave you Mozart, but the very next day you wanted reggae. This year, to save me from tears, I was gonna do heavy metal. He wrote that on the back of a flag packet and put it in his post.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay, Jonathan.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. Yeah, just go on with it, said Joseph, leaving him all alone to compose his masterpiece.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Do you think he'd do it? He's then he got limited amount of time.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes. Of course he did.

SPEAKER_04:

Joseph knew the congregation well. They were mainly boat workers transporting salt along the river.

SPEAKER_03:

Is that what it was called Salzburg?

SPEAKER_04:

Yes.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, there you go then. There you go then.

SPEAKER_04:

But they were poor, and he knew poor because he'd come from a very poor background, hadn't he? Yes he was. But also shared in the hard times under the Bavarian oppression. He was sure that with a decent tune behind his words, their performance later that day would be a success. But what he didn't know was that the melody Franz Gruber hurriedly scrawled out would be such a work of genius it would linger and echo down the centuries.

SPEAKER_01:

Really?

SPEAKER_04:

Yes. Now Neil, you're a multilinguist.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Hello, Neil. Still there? Yeah. Can you translate this please for the listener? Are you still there, listener? Merry Christmas to you, listener. I hope you are still there and thank you for spending time with us during this festive period. Whether you've got your fist up a turkey or whether you're merely rolling out some stuffing balls, we do appreciate you being with us. So Neil, if you could use your multilingual genius to translate this for the listener, please. Stillernacht Hillisnacht.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

What does that translate to, please?

SPEAKER_03:

Well, I can actually do that. That's um Silent Night Holy Night.

SPEAKER_04:

I should hope you can actually do that because you are multilingual and you speak many languages. So yes, you're right, Silent Night, Holy Night. That was the poem that our Joseph had scribbled out onto his little bit of paper. Wow the tune that our Franz had bashed out rather quickly because of a broken organ, allegedly.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

With Joseph on guitar handling the tenor, while Franz sang the lower bass notes, it was an instant smash with the congregation. A smash hit.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Wow. Did it get to number one? It did. In the hit parade.

SPEAKER_04:

Yes, it was number one, and then Christmas time, mistletoe and wine, children singing, Christian rhyme.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, by Mr. Richard. He was around back then, anyway, sort of era.

SPEAKER_04:

It probably was around back then, yeah. He must have been in his forties by that time, I think. Despite this Franz, the old big head, described the melody as merely a simple composition.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, look at me, I've written a smell through together.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, I've written a classic Christmas carol in about two minutes. And it's just a sip just a simple composition. Oh, don't don't you go worrying yourselves in me immortals. In fact, right, here's some little facts. The song you know today is slightly different from the original version of Stille Nacht. Folk singers and choir groups altered the original melody a little as they perform the carol throughout Europe in the ensuing decades. To add them to the popular story of a broken organ and the need to write a hurried song for the Christmas Eve service, it is said that an organ builder and repairman working at the church took a copy of the six-verse song to his home village. There it was picked up and spread by two families of travelling folk singers who performed around northern Europe.

SPEAKER_03:

A bit like uh the Bee Gees in.

SPEAKER_04:

If you go back to episode one of Honourable Mentions, listener, very much like the Bee Gees.

SPEAKER_03:

The Nolans, if you will.

SPEAKER_04:

Yes, we were talking families, so the Jacksons. Yeah, that'd have been cool, wouldn't it?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Put a dance routine to it.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, the Jacksons would have been cool. But again, Franz Gruber himself claims differently. He's a bit of a downer, isn't he? He said that the composition was picked up by surrounding parishes and spread organically that way. Both could be true.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, well it doesn't matter, does it?

SPEAKER_04:

No, whatever the truth, the Strasser family performed it for the King of Prussia in 1839. The Rayner family of singers, who sound like a real bunch of dull ads, debuted the carol outside of Trinity Church in New York City in 1839. The English version was written by the Reverend John Freeman Young. And he reduced it to just three verses.

SPEAKER_03:

John Freeman, was this John Freeman or John Freeman Yarr? Are you just saying yes, trying to be like posh?

SPEAKER_04:

John The Reverend John Freeman Young.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, I thought you meant Yar. Oh yeah, yah, yaw, yaw, yah, yah, that sort of thing.

SPEAKER_04:

I think the English version was written by the Reverend John Freeman Young.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, right.

SPEAKER_04:

And reduced to just three verses. Only verses one, two, and six from Moore and Gruber's original version are sung in the English.

SPEAKER_03:

In your English language.

SPEAKER_04:

In your English languages. Do you speak that?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, d well, not very well, but uh But you got that one as well nailed down. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Perhaps at no time in the song's long history was its message of peace more important than during the Christmas truce of nineteen fourteen.

SPEAKER_03:

Yes. When they played football.

SPEAKER_04:

Well done, Neil, they did, yes. And the Germans won on penalties.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, as usual.

SPEAKER_04:

Height of World War One, German and British soldiers on the front lines in Flanders laid down their weapons on Christmas Eve and together sang Silent Night across the trenches.

SPEAKER_03:

There you go.

SPEAKER_04:

Three verses only, of course, because you know standards. Excuse me, I say Fritz. Excuse me. Tommy over here. We only sing we only sing the three verses, don't you know? So yeah. Yeah, so what? We showed down what's what there. Yeah. But wrote this, sung it, performed it, went down well. Boxing day 1818, went back to normal.

SPEAKER_03:

It's cleaning toilets.

SPEAKER_04:

Whenever limited it.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Joseph Moore left Obendorf in 1819. He went on to hold positions in several parishes before being named pastor of Hintersey in 1827. And in 1837, the Alpine village of Vargrain.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

You know that, do you?

SPEAKER_03:

Nope.

SPEAKER_04:

That's why they grow. You know you have a uh Christmas tree-shaped alpine scented air freshener in your car.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

That's why they grow 'em they've got a whole forest.

SPEAKER_03:

Have they? I thought that's where they made Toborone.

SPEAKER_04:

No, no, that's Switzerland.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04:

No, no, this is where they grow those air fresheners.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh, magic trees.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. Oh right. Loads of them. Smells nice when you go. Here he created a bit overpowering though. Here he created a fund which allowed children from poor families to attend school and he set up a system to ensure the elderly receive proper care.

SPEAKER_03:

I'm going back to them air fresheners, they're only powerful for a day and then they run out. Not if you've got a whole forest. Well, yeah, if you put loads of them in your car, you'd be right, but if you put one in, you can't smell it. You can smell it for like five minutes and it's gone.

SPEAKER_04:

That's because of your offensive body odor. Anyway, Joseph Moore died of respiratory disease at the age of just 55 on December the 4th, 1848.

SPEAKER_03:

So he's just when you stop breathing, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_04:

Stephen managed to keep that within a Christmas thing. Yeah. After Elizabeth Engelsberger died in 1825. You can remember she was the wife of Franz.

SPEAKER_03:

Murderer. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah. Franz married a former student of his.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, dirty pig. What was his name? John Osmitt.

SPEAKER_04:

Maria Brightfoos.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Maria Brightfoos, they would live together for 15 years and have ten ch ten children. Ten children. In fifteen years.

SPEAKER_02:

Wow. Fit like a skydiver's mouth.

SPEAKER_04:

But only four lived to reach adulthood.

SPEAKER_03:

That is sad.

SPEAKER_04:

They just kept replacing them, I should imagine.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

Franz Gruber resigned his post in Arnsdorf at Obendorf in 1829. So he had on about a bit longer, didn't he?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

To later become choir director, singer, and organist in a parish just outside of Salzburg.

SPEAKER_02:

Maria died in childbirth, I think she bloody did. I think she did, exactly. Yeah, it's like a welly top, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_04:

The rather eye tunnel. She died in Charlburgh in 1841, and the following year Franz married Catherine Vimmer.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh.

SPEAKER_04:

Only for himself to die of natural causes on June 7, 1863, at the age of 76. Anyway, Merry Christmas, listener, with all the deaths. But Franz and Joseph went to live with the baby Jesus and have Christmas all year round with the Pixies and the Fairies. And they left us with what I must admit is probably my favouritest Christmas tune of all.

SPEAKER_03:

I like little drummer boy.

SPEAKER_04:

Did you hear about when David Bowie went round Bing Crosby's house?

SPEAKER_03:

No.

SPEAKER_04:

Bing said, Hello, David, you look rather glum. And David said, Well, being someone's let all the air out of my inflatable buttocks. And being said, well don't worry about that, David. You can borrow my rubber bum pump. Rubber bum pump?

SPEAKER_01:

Rubber bum pump.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_03:

Okay. I'll tell you what else I'm doing over Christmas. Um, what's that, please, Neil, please? I'm going to be listening to House of Cards by Pepe and the Bandits.

SPEAKER_04:

Well, that's a very good shout. I should imagine most people will be doing the same. I've heard that it's up for the Grammys and it's a shoe-in for the Mercury Prize and probably Sports Personality of the Year.

SPEAKER_03:

Sports Personality, I think, yes, it's definitely got a shout.

SPEAKER_04:

That's how good it is.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04:

And watch that again, please.

SPEAKER_03:

It's House of Cards by Pepe and the Bandits.

SPEAKER_04:

And I should imagine it's available wherever you stream your music.

SPEAKER_03:

I think so, yes.

SPEAKER_04:

Very good call, that one, Neil. Well, listener, me and Neil will wish you a very Merry Christmas.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh honourable mentions.

SPEAKER_04:

That wasn't horrible mentions. Merry Christmas, very good.

SPEAKER_03:

I wish you all the fluffiness in the world.

SPEAKER_04:

All the fluffiness in the world. How much fluffiness is in the world. However much fluffiness there is, Neil wishes it upon you, listener. And I wish you a happy Christmas, a happy new year, and thank you for listening to Honourable Mentions. And we'll leave you with me and Neil in our own rendition of the popular Christmas carol Silent Night. Merry Christmas and see you again for our New Year episode next week.

SPEAKER_00:

review for honourable mentions, please, and get everybody else to do the same. If they won't, tell them Blitzen here would like a word. See if he can't make their nose glow so bright. Now I follow honourable mentions on social media, and sometimes I get in touch by email at honorable mentions pod at gmail dot com. They always answer eventually It's important to know that Hoho Honourable Mentions is researched by Stephen Webb and is an uncover brothers production. They don't have a script or anything, you know, they just chat a right load of shiz. You may have noticed maybe I'll leave an extra brain cell or two in their stockings this year. One thing I'll definitely be delivering is a little toy trumpet for Pepe and the bandits. Did you know Pepe wrote and performed the theme tune? Please give them a listen wherever you stream your music. Anyway, I must fly Be nice and Merry Christmas one and all